Celebrating our 1st Wedding Anniversary

Many of my friends and family were quite worried about me coming out here because they know how much I don’t like to be on my own.  Most people also asked me ‘But what about Scott, won’t you miss him?’  Of course the answer is yes and I knew I would miss him but perhaps I wasn’t prepared for just how much I would miss him.

Living on my own

Being alone in a foreign country in a new job without your friends and family is always going to be tough. 

Scott and I have been together for about 10 years now and our relationship has always been about being together but also about doing our own things.  I’ve refereed hockey and spent my weekends travelling the country and Scott has played hockey and spent time golfing and drinking beer with his friends.  Inevitably being together always meant doing those things we love to do on our own, more and more together.  We made time for each other and it had always worked great so we both thought that 9 months was more than manageable if we put in enough visits back and forth and made sure we were in daily contact.

The reality is that it isn’t the same as being at home and especially when things are new and unsettling and you need someone to turn to … it is tough when you have to do that over a video skype call.

On the beach for the day of our anniversary

So I was really pleased that after 6 weeks of me moving out here Scott was already booked to come to visit me and it would be during the week of our 1^st wedding anniversary which I was looking forward to celebrating with him.

It was Scott’s first trip to the UAE and so we stayed in Dubai for a few nights – and whilst I had to work games for the whole week it meant that Scott got to see some of what Dubai has to offer at the same time as understanding the hockey structure and set-up here and meeting my new officiating community over here.

Anniversary celebrations

At the Jumeriah Beach Hotel on the beach

We had an amazing anniversary celebration.  Scott had a number of surprises up his sleeve.  The day before our anniversary he took me out shopping for a new outfit, which was great fun and meant I managed to get some new Manalo Blanik shoes, which I was really excited about! 

Burj Al Arab at sunset

Despite not having been to the UAE before Scott had managed to organise a surprise trip to the top of the Burj Al Arab for champagne high tea (the only 7* hotel in the world).  You need to have an appointment to be able to go to the hotel and so I was really excited when I eventually found out where we were going.  Scott had managed to keep it a secret right up until we needed to get a taxi there.  The views were spectacular and the high tea was fantastic!

View from Champagne Tea at the top of the Burj Al Arab

After the champagne high tea we went to the gold souk for some fun haggling over prices for diamond earrings. I was pleased Scott had remembered one of the rules I told him in my wedding speech … ‘I like shiny things’!  Whilst it was fun to haggle over diamonds in the souk the real diamond present I received from Scott took my breath away – back home in London he got an Olympic ring necklace made up for me and when he gave it to me he told me it was because I deserved it and had worked hard for it and he was so proud of me.  Beyond the fact it is really shiny and I love the necklace a lot it means more to me to know that even though I am miles and miles away working on developing ice hockey officials in the UAE, Scott is still proud of me and supportive of me following where hockey is taking me.

Champagne at the top of the Burj Al Arab

I’m very lucky to have such a supportive husband and perhaps being away from him has made me realise that even more!  I did however warn him that after such an amazing one-year anniversary I wasn’t sure how he could top it next year and that he better start thinking straight away!

At the top of Burj Al Arab

It was really hard to say goodbye again when Scott had to go back to London, but now he has been here and met my new officiating team and seen what the hockey and the job is like it is a lot easier.   

It is also just 6 weeks until Christmas and November will be so busy I will hardly be in one country for more than 5 days at a time.  So I should have lots to update him with and to write about in this blog if I can find a few spare hours!

Getting settled in my life in the UAE

A big part of feeling like finally I live here and am not just on an extended holiday is that firstly everything I needed in terms of admin has happened now, and secondly I have started to learn more about the culture here.

ID Cards, Admin and Bank Account

To be able to work in the UAE I needed to have a work visa.  Once I got this I needed to get medical clearance and then a health card.  Once I got this I was able to get a residents card.  Once I had the resident’s card I was able to get a local mobile number and once I had this mobile number I was able to set-up a bank account.  I was also then able to get my UK diving license translated and then get an Arabic driving license.  Everything has an order and a process to go through and anyone that has worked here or who is an expat here has had to go through the same process and so is very supportive because they know and remember just how frustrating it can feel to not have everything you need on day one!

Finally when I had everything I felt a great sense of achievement, which is silly really, because I hadn’t done anything other than fill in some forms, jump through some hoops and complete the various processes.  But it still felt like a huge achievement and like I had passed the test of being able to stay here and call it home for the next 9 months.

What is incredible and yet slightly scary at the same time is the information and data that is now held on me by the country.  To obtain my residents card I had to provide my fingerprints and handprints and this is now stored and linked to everything I do while I am here.  My fingerprint is linked to my bank account, as is my residents’ card and my mobile phone.  I can go into a bank and pay money in or take money out just using my fingerprint, or if I have forgotten my bankcard I can also use my residents card in an ATM.  Even more fun is that every time a deposit or a withdrawal is made out of my bank account I am sent a text message to tell me and it confirms what my new balance is.  For someone who likes to shop as much as I do this can get a little annoying and most of the time I think I am better off not knowing what my balance is!  Although I should just be grateful that Scott is not here because if it is a joint bank account then he also would get the text messages and be able to keep tabs not only on what I am spending but also where I am spending it!

Eid

Eid on the beach

I have now also experienced my first religious holiday in the UAE.  Eid happened at the beginning of October and meant there were a few days holiday from work and a chance for me to relax and enjoy what the country has to offer by way of beaches.

Emirati Culture

I decided that it would be important for me to understand more about the culture and the religion of the country I am living in.  Partly because I thought it would help me to do my job given I am working for a local company but also because I am a guest in this country and so learning more about it is something that is important to me. 

Eid on the beach in Dubai

One of the officials based in Dubai, Phylippe, and his wife Heidi, have been really kind to me and rather than see me drive home after a late game in Dubai they offered for me to stay at their house whenever I needed to.  So I took them up on their kind offer after the first Dubai game and now they are stuck with me every game!  The morning after the game when I first stayed with them they took me to Jumeriah Mosque for a tour that also involved a cultural talk and a chance to ask questions about the culture and faith here in the UAE.

The tour of the mosque was great and it was nice to see the inside of the mosque but what I found really valuable and interesting was the talk given by our guide. 

Our guide was a British lady who had met her husband (an Emirati) in London, moved back to the UAE with him and converted to Islam.  I found this hugely fascinating in itself because I was listening to a lady who had grown up in the same place as me but now had a very different life not just in the sense of where she lived but also in the way she was choosing to live it.  She was wearing a Hijab and spoke so passionately about her faith and her children and their perspective on the world.  She spoke about the outfits they wear and the very practical reasons behind covering up in the sun and protecting their eyes from sandstorms.  She was very open and shared so much with the group. 

Jumeriah Mosque

We were invited to watch one of the locals run through the movements of a prayer and also hear her stories of how much the UAE has changed since she had first moved back.  She spoke about there not being any buildings on the road where the mosque was and also how the roads were not real roads and they didn’t have traffic lights.  She explained that actually the country has developed so quickly that she has seen huge changes and actually watched as the locals have had to adapt and keep up with the infrastructure and technology and consumer world that has arrived with a bang into the country.

Being from a western country generally when you hear the word Islam it is generally on the news in a negative context and associated with some new terror organisation.  It was nice to hear what Islam is all about and the beliefs behind the religion.  I learnt there are five pillars of Islam:

1. Shahadah: declaring there is no god except God, and Muhammad is God's Messenger
2. Salat: ritual prayer five times a day
3. Zakat: giving 2.5% of one’s savings to the poor and needy
4. Sawm: fasting and self-control during the holy month of Ramadan
5. Hajj: pilgrimage to Mecca at least once in a lifetime if one is able

I also learnt a great deal about how the faith views women.  I had noticed that everywhere I went there were ladies only provisions.  There are ladies only beaches, ladies only lines in shops and ladies only taxis.  In-fact there is also a ladies only day at the ice rink which means none of the male hockey coaches can come into the office which is based in the ice rink in Abu Dhabi.  Many people who hear about this or don’t take the time to understand the culture wrongly assume that this is because they see women as not important or second-class citizens.  The reality is the complete opposite.  I learnt that actually everything that is set-up for ladies only is done so to make women feel safe and protected and to give them an environment where they do not feel exposed to men.  Everything that is done for women is done out of respect for them.  Many Emiratis will not shake a woman’s hand because it is a sign of disrespect and this is something I have had to get used to on the ice as an official after the games when players come to shake the officials hands but can’t shake my hand because of their belief.

I was really grateful to Phylippe and Heidi for suggesting to me to go on the tour and for taking me along to learn more about the culture I am living in.  It was a great experience and one I would recommend to anyone visiting the UAE if they really want to get an understanding of the country.

A little bit of home in my office

My office wall

The office is located in the Abu Dhabi ice rink, which is great because it means all of my days are spent in the ice rink.  Ice rinks all around the world tend to feel like home but I decided to make my office space feel a bit more like home by putting up some pictures that remind me of home and of how far I have come from the young girl who started refereeing games at Romford ice rink with her dad.  Sometimes when I am wondering if I will achieve anything here I look up at the pictures to remind myself anything is possible if you just have the faith to believe in yourself and the courage to try!

The league gets started ...

It seems like a long time since I have had a chance to sit down and write about everything that has been happening. 

I find myself almost 2 months into my 9 months in the UAE and finally everything is starting to feel more settled and familiar.  I am also staring to feel like I actually live here rather than I am just on an extended holiday!

League gets off to a good start!

Me with Norm and Joe for the first game of the EHL 2014

The league got off to a good start and we are now 15 games into the season.  It was great fun to work the first game of the league with two of my team – Norm and Joe.  Both have been really supportive of everything I have been implementing and they have a great sense of humour too so when I am getting too focussed or serious they bring me back to earth with a bump (as all my good friends have learnt to do over the years)!

Norm has continued to be a huge support to me and every-time I find myself needing to bounce some ideas around he is already there and one step ahead of me by asking the questions I have in my mind.  As I have gotten to know him and his wife Susan better it is clear that they are very open, generous and supportive people and provide stability and a place of comfort to a number of people who have moved to the UAE.  Without Norm here I would most definitely be struggling to settle in and so I feel very lucky to have met him and to have the chance to work with him.

The EHL is quite a difficult league to describe.  Each team has a real mix of talented players alongside some less experienced players and so whilst some of the games can be fast and challenging, others are less so.  Of the six teams, four of them are expat teams and then two of the teams are made up of locals and Emiratis with a couple of imports, but predominantly together they make up the UAE national team players.

In reality any team can win the league because of the unpredictable nature of the games and it all depends how well the teams will play on any given night.  It makes for an exciting league but also quite a challenge for assigning officials to games because you never know which games will be close and need a strong experienced crew, or which games will be less testing for the officials. 

The hockey infrastructure

I am starting to appreciate the job that the EIHA and IHUK have done over the years by putting in place a strong infrastructure for the development of officials.  It is quite easy to sit in London in my flat and criticise the EIHA for not doing something … but I never took the time to sit and appreciate everything they had already done or achieved.  By finding myself in a less developed programme I have come to appreciate what I didn’t even see before!

I have now set-up a supervision system for game officials.  My objective is to referee about 60% of the games in the EHL and for the other 40% or games to watch the other officials and provide them with detailed supervision so as a team we can grow and develop.  I looked at the IIHF supervision forms and programme, the EIHA forms and programme and the USA Hockey forms and programmes and brought together elements of each to create a programme that is fit for purpose and at the right level for the officials here in the UAE.  Whilst I am used to being supervised regularly, for many officials here what I have set-up has been new to them and so it has been a learning curve for me and for them on how this works and can be used as a tool to benefit us as a team.  I’ve enjoyed watching them work games and I also think from the discussions after the games that the officials are enjoying the fact that someone is watching them and focussing on what they are doing and how they can do it better.

Whilst I am here for the development of the officiating programme I have come to appreciate that this can only happen alongside a number of other areas.  I have started to regularly communicate with the coaches on behalf of the officiating team to ensure they are aware of areas of focus from a rule perspective but also anything that is not working for the league.  Alongside this I have come to realise that some of the off-ice officials have just taken on their roles without any training or guidance and whilst they are doing a great job, they too could benefit from some training specifically for off-ice officials.  Finally after setting up the Disciplinary Rules and Procedures for the league I have now started to use them and this too is another element that fits in with the officiating and I took for granted back home.  Back home I would do my job on the ice, enforce the rules, write-up match reports and send them off to discipline.  Here I am doing that and then coordinating the Disciplinary Committee, the communication to the teams and the logging of penalty statistics.

Whilst I am enjoying the chance to implement new systems and procedures and to help the league grow here, I now appreciate a lot more what is set-up back home.  I’ve asked for advice and help from Mike Hicks, Mohamed Ashraff and Allan Batchelder and all of them have been supporting me and sending me documents and advice to help me in setting everything up here.  I’ve also been using my international contacts in USA hockey because I noticed that a lot of the players come from North America where the rules are slightly different to IIHF.  With this in mind I sourced the rules cheat sheet which highlights the major differences and which a lot of the USA hockey officials use to help them switch to IIHF rules when they go to international tournaments.

So whilst many of you back home think I am just reffing a few games and lying on the beach in-between, I want to reassure you that yes that is happening but at the same time I am setting up lots of procedures to help the league grow, develop and operate. 

I often find myself up late after a game, writing a supervision report for one of the officials, or reviewing the game video to find clips for educational purposes, or writing up an incident report and setting up the video clip and procedure for disciplinary review.  There is always something to do and always more that could be done … and as most of you know I enjoy the never-ending challenges and tasks!

The officiating team

I am finding myself spending a lot of time on developing, educating and working with my team of officials.  I have an on-line portal, which not only helps me with assignments but also allows me to upload video clips and documents for them to all review.  Alongside that I have implemented a weekly fun rules quiz to help with rule knowledge (yes I did just put rules and fun in the same sentence).  I know at times I have been bombarding the guys with information – but they are a good bunch and all of them are being kind and humouring me … I think some of them are actually enjoying the rules fun quiz too!

I have planned a mid-season video analysis clinic where as a team we will come back together and review some clips from the season so far to help us all develop as officials for the league.  The mid-season video analysis clinic is in November, which is turning out to be a busy month as I will also be in Japan refereeing the Women’s World Championship Qualification Round for the IIHF and in Doha to help with the running of a Referee Clinic also for the IIHF!

The officiating team is really coming together and supporting each other which is great to see and the more I spend time with them all the more I realise that quite often the strongest teams involved in ice hockey are the officiating teams.  They go for many months without seeing each other or without all being together but they still manage to have a sense of belonging and a sense of team spirit.  I guess that is why I love being an official and I am always proud wherever I am in the world to pull on the stripes!

Potential of hockey in the UAE

I am actually finding it difficult not to get caught up in the vision of what hockey is and has the potential to be in the UAE. 

Dubai Mall ice rink

I often have to catch myself to remind myself where I am and how amazing it is that we have the quality we have and the amount of hockey we do in this country!  Quite often it is when I am sitting in the ice rink in the Dubai Mall (which is the largest shopping mall in the world).  Shops and extravagance and nice hotels surround me.  Outside it is 35degree plus heat … and yet I am part of an ice hockey programme that is leading the way within its region.

 

Atlantis Hotel on the Palm

I have scheduled catch-up calls with the IIHF each month to talk about how everything is working here.  From the IIHF perspective they see the hockey development in the UAE as a strong programme in the Asia region and one that is gaining momentum at a fast pace.  They are supportive of the set-up here and they also have set me challenges for what needs to be achieved from an officiating perspective.  One of the challenges is for me to find a local who can be the Referee Chief for the country.

It still amazing me that there are so many locals and Emiratis who are playing the game here.  In a country where ice is not the first thing that comes to mind there is a passion here for hockey that is addictive and infectious.  In fact it is quite humbling to witness the passion that the locals have for hockey – sometimes back home we forget what the game is about.  Back home there is so much surrounding hockey that gets in the way of what the game is all about – money, sponsors and ownership.  Here, every now and then, there is a glimpse of what hockey is about – the team spirit, the sense of belonging, the excitement of winning and the thrill of playing the fastest sport in the world.  To watch the locals play the game in front of their friends who are cheering them on with the same excitement of fans in the NHL is quite a surreal and yet emotional experience.

When I sit and watch what they have already created here through sheer passion for and love of the game, I feel privileged to be invited here to help. 

The EHL may be a mix of locals and expats but really I have come to see the real value of it is in promoting and growing the game of ice hockey here in the UAE … and that must never be forgotten in everything that is done in the league.

Super-cup day

It would be remiss of me not to mention Super-cup day!  Super-cup day was an idea of one of the locals that there should be one day that is a festival of hockey and celebrates all of the teams who won their respective leagues last season.

Media briefing for Supercup

This year was the first year it happened and it truly was a festival of hockey.  There were seven games throughout the day which involved the champions of each age group playing each other for the ‘Super-cup’: U9s, U12s, U15s, U18s, Local men’s league, ladies and EHL.  It was a long day of hockey that started at 8am and finished at 10pm that evening and the rink was buzzing all day with excited children and parents.  In the week leading up to the Super-cup day I was invited to attend a media briefing for one of the local TV stations alongside the mastermind behind the event and one of the officials who is a member of the EHL Management Board.  They both spoke in Arabic about the event and then asked me questions regarding the officiating and translated the answers.  It was a privilege to be invited to the media briefings and I even found my picture in one of the local papers which was quite fun … even if I could not understand what was written!

Local newspaper feature on the Supercup

There are junior teams here in UAE but the programme is not big and so they train throughout the year but there is no league for them to play in.  Their only games to play are during tournaments and so the super-cup day provided an extra opportunity for game experience for everyone.

Clearly alongside the EHL I am also responsible for assigning officials for junior tournaments and this has been a useful way of developing the new local officials alongside giving some of the more experienced officials slower games where they are able to practice some of the positioning that I have been giving them feedback about in the EHL games.

Supercup Trophy

We had a lot of officials working games throughout the day and it was a great team spirit as one crew finished their games and came back to the locker room to pass over the baton to the next crew of officials.  It reminded me of when I first started lining and I spent weekends officiating junior tournaments in Nottingham and other places with my Dad – learning the ropes of being a good official and enjoying the banter and friendship of other officials.

The super-cup day was a huge success and great fun to be a part of … I am looking forward to seeing it become an institution for hockey in the UAE.