Eat, sleep, go to the gym and referee hockey ...

One of the huge adjustments for me over the last few weeks has been that suddenly what I love to do (and have always had to fit in around everything else) is now my job and the only thing I need to focus on.

For years refereeing ice hockey and training to be as fit as I needed to be for refereeing was a hobby and something that took up all of my spare time outside of work, study or anything else going on in my life. 

Since I was at school, and all of the way through university I would study and then any spare time I had I would be travelling the country refereeing games or training in the gym.  For the last three years I was getting up at 5am every morning to train in the gym before work, working in an office all week and then referee games at the weekends.  There was little time for anything else and many sacrifices were made so that I could reach the top of my sport.  I missed birthday parties; weddings, christenings and general get togethers with friends all so I could focus on my sport and make it to the Olympics.  I didn’t eat what I wanted to when I was out because I knew it would affect my training and I didn’t have a glass of wine when my friends were sharing a bottle over dinner because again I couldn’t get up at 5am to train if I did!

When I would meet new people they would sometimes ask, “what else do you like doing outside of hockey?” … and I would smile and think how nice it must be to have time to enjoy something else!

After I returned from the Olympics and started thinking through my next challenge I found myself sitting next to a retired athlete at a sport law conference I was attending for work.  I took the chance to ask him for his views on when it is time to give up and what to do after that.  It was a really interesting conversation and one I won’t forget.  As we talked together it became clear that there is something a little unhealthy and obsessive about people who make it to the top of their sport.  They have to be dedicated, driven and at times selfish.  They have something in their life that is more important to them than anything … the issue comes when they give it up what do they fill that gap with and can it ever be filled?  You see and hear about so many celebrity sports stars that fall off the edge and turn to drink or drugs when they retire from their sport.  They lose their sense of purpose and cannot get the high they used to get from their sport from anything else.  I’m just a referee and so haven’t really experienced the highs and lows as much as an athlete would but there is a small part of me that can relate to the feeling of what next that they must have.  Whilst I knew I was not ready to retire from refereeing for good, there is a niggling question in the back of my head – “what would my life be about if there was no hockey in it?” 

I shared in the conversation that I loved hockey and wanted to carry on but that I was tired … tired of the commitment, tired of juggling all the balls and tired of letting my friends and family down by not attending functions with them.  The response I got was quite refreshing.  The retired athlete said to me he wasn’t surprised I was tired and that in his mind you only have time in your life to do two things really well at any one time.  People often try to do more but the reality is that there isn’t enough time to do more than 2 things properly and so the more things you try to do the less successful you become at each of them.  So if you want to dedicate the right amount of time to something and to do it well then you have to pick just two focuses … excel in your sport, do a day job, have a social life or have a family.  I sat there thinking how right he was – I had been trying desperately to do all four and spreading myself so thinly I was exhausted and tired.   The problem then became for me what to pick because I need to work and earn money and I wanted to referee hockey – so did that mean no time to have a proper social life or a family!  Something had to give because I love my friends and family too much to quit on them!

Fortunately for me I now find myself in the unique and awesome situation of having hockey as my day job – which makes my choices much easier. 

However also unexpectedly it is difficult to adjust to not having anything else to do in a day apart from hockey.  It is really difficult not to lose myself in the job.  With my job and my hobby being the same thing it is easy to see how hockey could take over my life completely now.  Every spare minute I am watching a video to make a clip of referee positioning or reading a rule to make sure I have the right interpretation.  It is so easy to become totally consumed by hockey and lose my value as an actual person!  To make sure this does not happen I have been busy trying to create a balance and ensure that I retain some identity, which is about me as a person rather than me as hockey hockey hockey!

Hilton Beach Club Abu Dhabi

Gym at the Hilton Beach Club Abu Dhabi

Back home in London I was a member of the Hilton gym at Park Lane.  It wasn’t the most well equipped gym by any stretch – but it had everything I needed.  I also liked the people there and it provided a sense of escapism from the day to day hustle and bustle of the city and the commercial gyms with rows and rows of treadmills that lacked the community feel.  The gym would have transient users who were staying in the hotel and then there was a core membership of the same 5 or 6 people who would train at the same times as I did giving it a nice sense of community.  I carried on using the gym even when it made for a longer commute to my office just because it kept me mentally in a good place to have somewhere nice to train and use the spa facilities and escape to.

Pool at the Hilton Beach Club Abu Dhabi

So one of my big concerns moving here was that I was actually going to have to use a new gym!  Whilst the gym by the ice rink is very well equipped for my training I decided that I needed a place to escape from hockey for a bit and so I investigated the beach clubs in Abu Dhabi.  Several of the referees are members at clubs in Abu Dhabi and Dubai for their gym, tennis and pool facilities and they convinced me that having somewhere to relax and escape from everything was key to survival here! 

Beach at the Hilton Beach Club Abu Dhabi

The Hilton Beach Club offered the best deal, which allows me to use the gym, spa, pool and beach facilities all for my monthly membership.  It provides a little place for me to escape and workout separate from the ice rink and then to relax a bit also if needed on the beach.  The added bonus of this little escapism for me is that when people come to visit I will be able to take them to use all the club facilities on a guest rate!

It being a Hilton also makes me feel a little bit like I am at home too!

Abu Dhabi Film Festival

Emirates Palace at night

This week also saw the annual Abu Dhabi Film Festival and lucky for me Norm invited me to go to a couple of films with him.  I have never really been to a film festival before and this one did not disappoint.  For a start one of the venues used to show the films was the Emirates Palace, which is one of the nicest hotels I have ever been to in the world.

Fountains outside the Emirates Palace

The hotel is huge and from a distance all lit up in the dark it looks majestical.  The hotel sits slightly on a hill and with a huge stone set of steps leading up to it which reminded me of the steps in Philadelphia from the Rocky movies!  At the bottom of the steps are fountains, which again add to the mystique of the building when they are all lit up at night time.

Trying to decide which car is mine!

The Emirates Palace is the second most expensive hotel ever built in the world and has almost 400 guest rooms inside.  The Abu Dhabi government owns it and whilst obviously people are attending the film festival to see the films, there is a huge buzz and excitement about being inside the Emirates Palace too!  Every detail is thought out – the marble floors, gold furnishing and even crystals imbedded into door handles.  Even on the escalators the rubber handle, which is usually black, is a gold colour!  As we walked in there were several nice cars parked in the drop-off zone – spoilt for choice!  Inside the door there is a huge seating area with large sofas positioning in front of a giant screen, which shows a camera of the outside drop-off zone.  This is the area for ladies to wait until their car pulls up outside so they do not need to walk to the car or wait outside in the heat for any longer than is necessary to get into the car!  Now this is something I could get used to!

Inside the Palace under the dome

I saw two films this week – both of which I loved and would recommend.  The first was ‘My old lady’ which had an excellent storyline with gentle character development accompanied by superb acting.  The second was ‘Whiplash’ which has won awards and again was gripping from start to finish.   Both very different films and really enjoyable – so well done to Norm for some great picks!

I really enjoyed the chance to get into the local scene a bit more in Abu Dhabi too.  Before one of the films Norm and I met up with one of the other referees Christian and his wife Cathy.  Christian is Canadian and Cathy is from New Zealand and they met in Japan as schoolteachers before getting married and moving to Abu Dhabi together.  One of the great things about living here is the interesting and fun people that you meet and get to know!  I am looking forward to hanging out more with them over the coming months.

Abu Dhabi Hockey League

After all the escapism it was clear I was missing hockey.  With a few referees out of town in Thailand for a tournament the local league was short for referees for the weekend and so I volunteered my services to help out.   Whilst the EHL (Emirates Hockey League) runs across the UAE, both Dubai and Abu Dhabi run their own separate beer/local leagues for players who are not playing in the EHL.  The Abu Dhabi Hockey League is a really well run set-up with a draft every year to ensure the teams can all compete and there is a chance for socialising and enjoying the game too.   Many of the referees for the EHL play for the teams and so it was a fun experience to referee for some of my fellow officials when they were seeing things through their playing eyes rather than their refereeing eyes!  Norm’s team has new shirts this year making them the best-dressed team in the league!

Norm's team in their new shirts

It was a fun experience although perhaps alongside the EHL schedule it could be a bit too much hockey for me – it meant a straight 6 days of games for me to referee!  Probably the best part was the chance to meet and chat with many of the players after the game in the car park over some post-game beers!  They are all a good bunch really even if they do shout a lot at the referees on the ice!  Lucky for me I now have some places to escape to when the hockey all gets a bit too much!  Remarkable really, that in the desert there is more hockey than you would ever imagine!